The Horror

from the archives

I was working late on a website last night and about 1am I took Sophie out to pee before bed. She went right away but shifted strangely while she was peeing – at the time I thought she was too close to the fence and just backing up, so dismissed it.

She came in, I got her bedtime treat and we headed to bed in the dark. Gave her the treat and got ready for bed myself.

By the time I was ready she was already in her bed. I petted her a bit and got in bed. Something smelled strange though. Couldn’t quite place it – kinda like stinkweed. Though maybe it was her breath after cleaning her bum..? But I was exhausted and my eyes were burning so I tried to go to sleep. Soon I hear a neighbors car alarm, ugh… what is this 1980? But there was that smell again. She must have stepped in something.

I got up and put a flashlight on her – globs of wet shit on her bed, and at least one foot clumped with it. Lovely. And the smell was overpowering now. She looked at me like she knew something was wrong and just sat still. Grabbed a trash can and toilet paper and picked up the poo and wiped her foot off – it was squished between her toes… she sat still and let me work.

OMG the smell was sickening. I searched the rest of the house and found the trail from the backdoor all the way to the bedroom, every 3 feet or so, a splat to wipe up. Rug, wood floor, tile, carpet, everything.

Now it’s bath time. Got her in the tub with a few inches of warm water and wiggled her offending foot around to shake off the poo in the water. It did and now it is a tub of poo soup.

The smell continues. A couple of tub empties and rinses later and she seems clean enough. Another inspection of the trail with a few more clean up spots and we are off to bed again – though I stuck her bed and the trash can in the garage – we’ll need new items there. I can still smell it…

Miss Sophie (3yr old Golden Doodle) doesn’t like new areas…

Miss Sophie (3yr old Golden Doodle) doesn’t like new areas…

She put my heart to the test last night, on our walk through a new neighborhood (not on our usual path anyway), when out of the blue, she suddenly went ape-sh!t attacking and barking (more than I have ever seen) at some un-seen aggressor right in front of a house we were walking by. It was kind of near the woods so I thought it must be some wild animal we spooked. I am full-on adrenaline-rushing –eyes, ears and mouth wide, spinning around trying to see what the heck it is while telling her to “Stop!” at the top of my voice and keeping her from running off.

Then I hear a low hissing sound get louder and I am amped up even further –whole body tingling, senses hyper-alert,  starting to see things in the shadows and am straining to find something to defend against or attack, when I slowly realize it is just their lawn sprinklers coming on. Holy freekin sheet it took me 10 minutes of sitting in the next house lawn to calm myself and her down…

Nope, she doesn’t like new areas…